the hundred dresses

Our May mother-daughter book club pick was The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes. What an amazing book! Written in the mid-1940's, it's a timeless story about fitting in, being different, being imperfect, exclusion and forgiveness. Our girls are ages 8-10 and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

Ellen and I hosted book club this time and that in itself was incredibly special. It was the first time we've ever planned and thrown a party together. We planned the craft activity (making dresses for Webkinz critters), the "give back" (everyone brought dresses to donate to girls living in our domestic violence shelter), and the discussion (we did an activity centering on connection and fitting in).

The three main characters in the book (all young girls) represent the classic bully, bullied and bystander roles. Of course, Eleanor Estes' insight predates these labels and what we know about bullying. One of the most powerful moments came when I posed these questions to the group:

1. Who has felt left out?
2. Who has excluded someone?
3. Who has stood by and watched someone be excluded?

I think the girls were surprised/relieved to see all of the moms' hands go up for every one of these. I think it's easy for kids to think that we eventually escape from these situations. Maybe our vulnerability is normalizing for them.  

The girls had such powerful ideas and insight about our capacity to both exclude and be excluded. Whew!  

It was a great experience for me and Ellen. We had so much fun buying material and ribbon, grocery shopping, making this video and even cleaning up. As we were picking pictures for the video, Ellen shouted, "Oh mom! I have the perfect song for the video. Let's use Outside Looking In (Jordan Pruitt) from the Disney movie, Read It and Weep." Of course, it's the perfect song!

To our very special book club - thank you for sharing an afternoon with us! We had a great time. We're always looking for fun book ideas for girls 8-10. If you have ideas, please share!

Comments

[Tracy Gomez]

Walk Two Moons is an amazing book for girls of all ages...It is one of my all time favorites for young girls. check it out

[Shalet]

I saw this book on your site and had to buy it to read with my daughter. We love Eleanor Estes. We've just started it. I like the idea of a book club - perhaps something for this summer!

[phyllis]

ooh, i loved that book when i was a kid. i think i have to go and revisit it. i do love sharing books with my boys but i do hope someday for a mother-daughter book experience. thanks for sharing yours!

[Farrah Braniff]

That sounds and looks AMAZING! I am having serious M/D book club envy! The activity sounds amazing, the cookies are so stinkin' cute, and I bet the girls were amazing in the things they had to say. Simply awesome. You are amazing and Ellen is so lucky and blessed to "have chosen you" (as she says) :)

[Farrah Braniff]

Wow, I think I said "amazing" an amazing amount of times. Perhaps I need an amazing thesaurus?

[Jen A.]

Truly. Awesome. I wept as I watched the video. Memories came flooding back as I remembered my 4th grade year...being the one left out and ignored by my group of friends. Why did they want to make our perfectly rounded foursome into a group of 3? I remember sobbing as I watched them pass my house on their way to school...after countless mornings of picking me up.

Ugh. Think I still need some therapy for this one?

Anyway, great idea about the book club, and it looks like you throw quite the shindig. Will definitely get this book for Priya and I...to have our own little discussion about fitting in and not excluding people.

We are all children of God. And, we should treat each other as such.

Great post.

[Monica]

Oh, I too am having M/B book club envy. I talked to my girlfriend who thought it was the best idea EVER, but then we couldn't think of anyone else who'd be into doing it with us. Perhaps an add in the local paper? HA!!!

Anyway, I do have some suggestions. Books by Jean Little, Lois Lowery, or Barbra Smucker would generate lots of feeling and discussion.

If you ever want a break from the chapter books go for something by Eve Bunting or Patricia Polacco. Last week I was subbing in a grade 2 class and read Fly Away Home to them (Eve Bunting). I asked the class if they liked sad books and they looked at me like I was from Mars. Then I asked them if they'd ever read a sad book before and I got the same clued out look. So I told them all about Eve Bunting and how she can make your heart feel sad, but somehow hopeful by the words that she writes. As I was reading the book there was not a peep, not a fidget, not a sigh. They were eating out of her hands. She had them wrapped right up in her story. At the end there was just silence. I LOVE when I book can do that to a gathering of people. The Sunshine Home, One Green Apple, The Wall, So Far From the Sea. She also has some chapter books, Blackwater and The Summer of Riley look good but I haven't read them.

[Veronique]

What an amazing, amazing, amazing, video. (Sometimes that's just the best word to use!) I also am suffering from m/d bookclub envy. Maybe we need to start thinking about about a mother/son bookclub someday!!!!

Veronique

[Brené]

Love the book suggestions - thank you!!!

I can hardly wait to do a mother-son book club with Charlie. Won't that be awesome? I mean amazing.

If you're thinking about doing a mother/son club, The Invention of Hugo Caberet is a great one (ages 8-10). Our girls loved it too. Don't let the size scare you!

Jen - I still cry when I think back on some of those moments growing up. It's funny because my hard stories (and Steve's) seem to bring the most healing to Ellen when she's feeling alone. She often curls up in my lap and says, "Can you tell me one of your lonely feeling stories?" When she does that I know something is going on.

[Renae C]

I'm joining the serious M/D book club envy. The time is so short - in just a few years they wouldn't dare be in a group discussing books with their mothers.

Can you tell us how you got started, what the rules are (yes, my daughter has the same handicap of a first born of first borns), how the thing is structured?

[Dawnh]

love the cookies, you and ellen! Dawn

[Optimst]

I'm having M/D book club envy and I'm a member! Claire and I were so sorry to miss out this month - and are so grateful for your video! Now we can feel included!

See you in September at the next meeting - unless you want to sneak off to a movie before then...

xo Bonnie

[Diane V]

You have to read Star Girl by Jerry Spinelli and do a Star Girl act of kindness that is out of the box. I am a self identified 48 year old Star Girl. I have a friend who is a fifty something year old Star Girl. We don't try to be this way, but spontaneously, impulsively we will do something whacky and courageous and atypical to help someone and go omg and call the other one to describe a Star Girl moment we just experienced. I give this to all my gfs daughters and to the men I meet who I want to understand and accept me.

[Amy]

My second-grade daughter and I are having a book club meeting on Saturday where we will be discussing this book. Thanks for sharing the great photos of your meeting! We will be decorating dress-shaped cookies and using old bridesmaid dresses plus scraps of fancy fabric so the girls can design their own dresses. We had our first meeting in November where we discussed Ramona Quimby, Age 8.

[julie]

WOW! How inspiring. My wheels are churning! I am social worker and baker and art-lover and mom...I love seeing all these parts of YOU merging together in this great book club project! Thanks for sharing.