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Blog Design Eclectic Whimsy
Illustration Nicholas Wilton
Cool Signpost David Robinson
Sky paper Weeds & Wildflowers
Background paper Sande Krieger
OK. I have an advance copy. I cheated. All I can say is, "I heart Katherine Center." Just click here and pre-purchase your copy so you don't have to stand in line with all of the other people who will want to get their hands on this wise and funny book! Honesty, humor and great writing is an amazing combination.
I love Joan Chittister. I'm always searching for spiritual guidence on living a balanced life. I recently met and was inspired by a Benedictine monk. So, there you have it!
Three brothers raised singing tent revival songs hook up with their first cousin and make some serious old-school music with a very fresh sound. I'm totally addicted. iTunes shows their "influencers" as Tom Petty, Neil Young and The Allman Bros. I also hear The Call (my fav). Careful in the car with the kids (the tent rivival days are long gone). Thanks to Ash & Lauren for the recommendation.
I can't stop listening to this! Soulful and bluesy - absolutely awesome.
In high school, I was voted least likely to fly across the country and spend 3 days with 12 artists and writers whom I've never met.
When this Oregon LoveBomb/retreat/vacation/soul-camp was first mentioned, I thought, “Wow. I can’t believe it. Sounds amazing. I’ll be there!” As my departure day drew near, my anxiety increased. By the beginning of August I was trying on different excuses and apologies for having to cancel.
First of all, almost all of these women have spent time together (real, in person time). Many of them are good friends. I didn’t know anyone. Second, these are photographers and artists and heart n’ soul writers. Those people scare me a little. Third, I’d be sharing beds, bathrooms, and possibly secrets with people. I don’t like sharing beds. It might surprise you, but I’m not as low-maintenance and laid back as you might imagine. I need sleep and healthy food. I'm a little lactose intolerant and I don't drink. I cuss too much and clutter makes me crazy.
I eventually pushed through the exhaustion, fear, and anxiety, and landed in Oregon on Sunday morning. It was so strange to physically see and feel people from the blog world. Everyone looked exactly the same and totally different. On several occasions I had to stop myself from saying, "You look just like someone I know from the Internet."
My prayer before I left was, “Please let me be open-minded and open-hearted during this experience.” I think I was. I listened and shared. There were moments when being open-minded/hearted was easy and moments when I really struggled against the desire to be guarded and closed.
As you can imagine, there were lots of cameras and lots of laptops. Every time you turned around someone was taking your picture or uploading your picture or showing you your picture. For some reason, even with all of the picture taking, I couldn’t put on a stitch of make-up or even brush my hair. I just washed my face and pulled my hair back with a headband. I wanted to be a bit more glamorous for the paparazzi, but it was like my hands were made out of lead. I’d stand in front of the mirror with a brush or some make-up and I just couldn’t do it.
Karen, who has an absolute gift for capturing the real essence of people, took two portrait pictures of me during the course of the weekend. When she showed them to me, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. They made me incredibly uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure why, but I couldn’t really even look at them.
On Tuesday, Andrea led us through a coaching exercise about core values. Not corporate-mission-statement type values, but real “live or die” values. I was partnered with the irrepressible Jen Lee.
Normally, I would be a little tentative about an exercise like this. I've done this kind of work for so long, I rarely stumble upon any groundbreaking information. This time was different. There is something so incredibly generous and honest about Andrea. I trusted her completely. After an hour of writing and talking and honing, I came up with my list of five values. As others spoke of their experiences and what they learned, I felt a little disappointed about my list. There wasn’t anything really new.
I left Oregon knowing that I had made new friends. I knew I had learned and shared. I also knew that I had stayed true to my open-heart/mind commitment.
I did NOT know what this would mean today.
I never cried in Oregon. I cried today.
I pulled up the two pictures that Karen shot and I pulled out my list from Andrea’s exercise.
In one heartbeat it came to me.
My list of five broad values collapsed into two piercing mandates and Karen's pictures told the story. I must live authentically and soulfully. These are my values and these are what Karen captured in my photos.
Live authentically.
Live soulfully.
I went to Oregon vowing to be open-hearted and open-minded, but something much bigger happened.
I let myself be seen.
08.14.2008 | by Brené Brown | in authenticity, my travels Share Article Email Article Print Article 32 Comments 
Reader Comments (32)
Ease yourself into re-entry into life. Take the time you need, amidst this back to school rush, to ponder all that the time meant and will mean. Go slowly and love deeply - even yourself. I can feel the magic....
I saw you.
and I liked what I saw.
xo
andrea
you were who you were. we saw that. we loved that.
just as karen has a special talent for capturing our essence in her photos, you have the same talent - not with photos, but with insightful words that hear, listen, and see.
thank you for that.
and i can't wait to do it again :)
I'm glad you had this experience. Sounds truly marvelous and soul-awakening. Most of all, I'm glad you let yourself be seen. I believe the girls who said above that what they saw was beautiful . . . IS beautiful.
what a wonderful and true smile!
now i'm going to go have a cry in the women's bathroom for a minute, for the freedom that's just around the corner--the freedom to live authentically and soulfully that i am finally, finally allowing myself after so many years of thinking i had to wait my turn.
Much love,
Carmen
You are such an inspiration to so many of us!
Bless you,
joan
thank you for sharing a few summer days with me.
you are seen and you are loved long time,
every little bit.
xo
jen gray
I love this quote from Jen Lee's post "Shine"--
"I feel surrounded right now by people with keen sight and kind words, who are rubbing, scrubbing and polishing away all the things that dim my light–the self-doubt, the fear, the disempowering narratives of times past–until all that’s left for me to do is shine."
That scripture is my life verse...Matthew 5:16..."let your light shine before men..."
I so need to do away with all those things and people who dim my light.
Until all that is left for me to do is shine.
Time for a tissue now.
XO.
I've never actually checked out your other website (only your blog). Just, literally two minutes ago, I went to your other website and saw the gorgeous picture of you. It really, truly is a great picture of you. But I was left feeling like, 'wow, this woman really has it all together.' And I totally turned off. I started reading your write up, and I kept being drawn into the picture, thinking, 'this is not the Brene I read about on her blog. She's not this perfect person who I couldn't ever connect with. But why does this picture make me think she is?' I just kind of turned off.
... and then the 'ah ha' moment!!! I just about screamed out loud! But my whole family is asleep, so I thought .... I have to tell her. Zoom ... over to your blog .. to this post ... with these *authentic*, *courageous*, *real*, *imperfect*, beautiful, beautiful, *transparent* pictures.
And BINGO ... immediate *c o n n e c t i o n*.
These pictures ... *these* pictures are the 'loving kindness' pictures. These are the pictures that go along with all you've taught me. These pictures draw me into you and your words. These pictures make me want to love (in a strange cyberspacey way). These pictures make you believable.
Does that make sense?
Please, please, please don't think I don't like the 'perfect' picture. Because frankly, if it was me, I'd put that one up on my blog too. If I had to choose. But it just hit me, like a semi truck, that I don't connect with the 'perfect' picture. I connect with the real, transparent, authentic picture.
Am I making sense? I think you probably have this all worked out already and it's what this post is all about, but I just had to tell you ... I get it. And what a really, really great and moving visual to go along with your words.
I'm not big on analysis and introspection. And sharing? Forget it.
I was touched by the openness and honesty of your post. I was already touched after reading your post, but Andrea's comment (I saw you and liked what I saw) is what finally made me well up. It sounds like a wonderful weekend. Nothing like a group of girlfriends to rejuvenate you! None of my friends are quite that deep. Or maybe just not that open.
Anyway, my philosophy in life is simple. If people in the corporate/academic world don't like who you are, what they see, how you act, and insist on back-stabbing, gossip, etc., F-U-K-M (f$#k them). Just say the letters slowly to yourself, F-U-K-M. And move on.
You know who you are and what your values are. You seem to have an amazing group of friends who all think you are beautiful. Don't let people at work bring you down. Letting the jerks get to you empowers them. Instead, pity them (just don't waste a lot of time doing it). They're probably just jealous anyway!
Toadmama
I just linked to your blog somehow (don't recall from who, blurfing gets crazy...) and I am looking for your book. NOt at paperbackswap.com or the local barnes and noble or the library. May have to order it! Thanks for sharing yourself with us!
There seem to be more and more people longing for the same things. I feel there's a shift going on in the world. I love finding people who undrestand what I'm talking about. I wish I could have joined you guys on your retreat!!!