happy WholeHearted day!
So what exactly is WholeHearted and why are we celebrating?
I’ve been telling you about my “new book” and today is the day that I tell you that the title is "WholeHearted: Adventures in Ordinary Courage and Everyday Authenticity."
In fact, there are two new books – the second one is based on my parenting research and is called "The WholeHearted Family: 15 Guideposts for Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection."
Today is also the official launch of my new site (notice the groovy tabs at the top of the page). When I stared blogging one year ago, I thought my website and blog needed to be two separate sites (my work and my journey). I’ve since learned that my work is my journey.
Today is also the day that I tell you how I’ve been putting off writing for over a year and that I need to be brave enough to talk about my fears and ask what for what I need. So here goes:
The absolute heart of my work is connection. My work on shame resilience, authenticity, belonging, empathy, compassion is really all about connection. I’m a connection evangelist. I believe it’s why we are here and it’s what gives purpose and meaning to life.
My greatest writing struggle is the isolation. I basically have to write about connection in total isolation. There is an important and powerful feeling of solitude that is part of the creative life; however, that solitude can quickly become a place of disconnection, disengagement, and loneliness.
I’m tired of choosing between being a writer and being a fully engaged and connected partner, mom, sister, daughter, and friend. Writing for this blog is the only writing that I’ve ever done where I don’t feel forced to choose between being creative and being present in my life.
Why?
1. You inspire me. Your comments and emails keep it real and never let me forget that it has to be honest. It has to be true. And connection can’t be sacrificed in the process.
2. I get to make it pretty and artful (I learned that it’s OK for that to matter to me during the 2007 breakdown).
3. I don't let perfection get in the way. I'm not paralyzed about grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. I try not to be sloppy, but I let myself make mistakes (and count on good friends to email me if they're big ones).
When I told my dear friend Jen about the painful irony of writing about connection in isolation, she asked, “What do you need to fix that?”
The question startled me and I replied, “I don't know. I have no idea.”
She wisely offered this: “I think you do know. You just need to ask for it. That will be your struggle. You need to believe you can ask for it.”
I’ve thought about it. I need the momentum and energy of a movement. I need to be surrounded by other authenticity activists who are willing to be imperfect and real. I need to build a community full of people who can straddle the truth that we are afraid and brave (often at the same time).
Choosing authenticity is an act of resistance.
Choosing to live and love with our WholeHeart is an act of defiance.
I want to create a movement! Let’s take to the streets with our messy, imperfect, wild, stretch-marked, wonderful, heartbreaking, grace-filled, and joyful lives. I don’t care who you are or how big your house is or how perfect your life looks – EVERYONE has a story that will break your heart. Let’s tell our stories and reclaim those hearts – every single piece!
I’ve been an activist long enough to know that good movements need “stuff” to mobilize and inspire folks! Hmm . . .
Right after I wrote the authenticity definition for my academic work, I noticed that I started using it more personally – like a prayer. I thought about tattooing it somewhere, but it would require a lot of space (no comment).
So, I did the next best thing to a tattoo – I also asked the lovely Shawn to create a print-quality definition that I could offer as a free download (a lot of y’all have emailed and asked for this too). She came up with two amazing styles. Both 4X6 designs are on one page. I have one framed in my room and one in my office. You can download yours here!
And, what’s a movement without great art? Just to make it more fun – for the next twelve months (which is when the first book will be published), artists are going to create tributes to the power of authenticity and WholeHearted living and loving. I’ll be offering give-aways on the blog and interviewing the artists. Trust me – you’re going to be amazed.
Last, but not least, we decided that a badge and a pledge/promise/prayer/manifesto might be awesome.
Check it out! Pick the one you like best and help yourself! (Or take both!).
I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your support, ideas, and comments.
Just in case there's not enough rockin' news in this post: I talked to my publisher on Friday and he was blown away by your responses. The read-along is ON! And, better yet: No workbook! We're going to do a meditation, devotional, artsy, creative, fun book instead. It will still be a companion book for ITIWJM, but less work-y, more feel-y. If you need to get the book, the least expensive place to buy it is here.
We'll start on 4/1 and run through 5/28.
I'm so damn excited. I can barely stand it.
03.1.2009 | by Brené Brown | in wholehearted, writing Share Article Email Article Print Article 55 Comments
Reader Comments (55)
The badges and print downloads are gorgeous. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I think your sort of activism is one i can sign up for : )
Count me in.
On a more serious note, I love these two lines from your writing this morning: Choosing authenticity is an act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our WholeHeart is an act of defiance. They will be posted at my office and home. So true and so powerful. You are helping me raise two authentic, whole hearted children!
I am so glad you are asking for what you need. It is a privilege to be a part of your journey. My activist sleeves are rolled up and I am ready to do my part for the movement!
I had printed-up your quote when you first put it on the blog, but knew it needed something "more" (as if words alone aren't enough). Now I have it!!! I am so thrilled. Thank you.
I realize that the joy of a "read along through shame" seems counterintuitive, but honestly, I am so looking forward to it. Thank you so much for being willing to do it.
Let us know when we can preorder the new books...
Hey, chicka, congrats.
YIPEE!!!!!!
Have an amazing week.
Namasté,
Carmen Torbus
http://distractedbydesign.blogspot.com
and i'm totally joyous that the read-along is on! i've thought a lot about it since you mentioned it and am so looking forward to jumping into it!
Did I mention that I needed the reminder about being "emotionally honest, setting boundaries"? I was working on flunking that one over the weekend, but this morning have been finding my way out. Thank you!
Your enthusiasm is contagious. I've ordered another copy of your book for my sister so she can join the read along too.
I feel so lucky to be a part of all this!
can i be honest... :)... this makes me nervous... and down right excited all at once!
... i don't know whether it's the extra cup of coffee this morning or THIS that is making me shake in my shoes!
thanks Brene for letting us be a part of such a special journey!
I can't wait to begin the read along, and in the meantime, I love the downloads you shared with us today...Shawn did a truly beautiful job on these and I can't wait to share them with others.
Thank you for being so REAL here!!
This connection-call reminds me of Dr. Jean Shinoda Bolin's The Millionth Circle - and times that I've been blow away by communities of women (though in my younger years I was sure groups of women meant talking only laundry and nail polish - sigh).
Monica
I love this line. I heard the ting of recognition when I read it.
Love your blog!!
I have ordered your book on amazon "i thought it was just me" so looking foward to reading along with you and everyone else what a CONNECTION!
I feel a part of something REAL finally...YAHOO!
Going on the record that I think we need to conclude the study with a weekend getaway.....10,20,100 gals......let's go!!
Should I start planning? Grinning big.
I'm in. I choose to live wholeheartedly!
have a great week
I think you need to come to Portland, Maine for my friends new play that opens on March 19th-April 11 The Passion of the Hausfrau. Check out the original hausfrau's website at:
http://www.thehausfrau.com/2005/11/hausfrau-history.html It's about being honest about how hard this parenting thing can be and about being an artist and true to yourself at the same time... It's very funny too.
Brene', Yay!
Shame and fear, Boo!
"Authenticity is a daily practice." Ok ~ this shocked me. Here I thought because I have chosen to be an authentic woman therefore I would be just by the power of my mind. Ha! Of course, it's a daily practice! Of course I need to remind myself to choose that this act or these words are reflections of my authenticity or they are not (and the shame that comes with uttering and doing that which isn't is a whole other topic). This AHA! moment caused by your words have cinched the deal for me, I am onboard...
My word for 2009 (inspired by artist and blogger Christine Kane) is TENACIOUS ~ persistent determination. I think I'm going to need it....
Leaping,
Lil
Camille