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daring greatly! meet the new book.
I'm so excited to share it with you!
The phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt's speech, Citizenship in a Republic. This is the passage that made the speech famous:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly . . .”
The first time I read this quote, I thought, “This is vulnerability. Everything I’ve learned from over a decade of research on vulnerability has taught me this exact lesson. Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.”
Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement.
Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose.
When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.
Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience. We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be – a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation – with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.
The book explores and answers the following questions:
1. What drives our fear of being vulnerable?
2. How are we protecting ourselves from vulnerability
3. What price are we paying when we shut down and disengage?
4. How do we own and engage with vulnerability so we can start transforming the way we live, love, parent, and lead?
As my friends and family (and editor) can tell you, it's been a very tough book process for me. I've spent the past few months bouncing back and forth between fear and courage.
For years, I drew courage from the question, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” I even own the paperweight. When I was getting ready to speak at TED this year, I pushed that question out of my head to make room for a new question: “What’s worth doing even if you fail?”
That question also drove this book which probably explains the fear and courage dance! It's the book that was worth writing - the no-holds-barred book.
It releases on 9.13.12. You can pre-order it now from Amazon.com | Barnes&Noble.com | Books-a-Million | Indie Bound and iTunes. Many retailers have it at a discounted pre-order price.
Stay tuned for more info on an online read-along and book plates! Thank y'all so much for your support and for Daring Greatly with me!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Reader Comments (50)
Thank you for this Brene'! Congratulations on this new book. I look forward to it's company. I share your work on my site and on my FB page with great joy.
xo Suzi
And how lucky for us.
A big hug to you, and I hope you are patting yourself on the back, lady. This is one wild ride, and you are doing a great job. xox
: )
This question “What’s worth doing even if you fail? is simply mind blowing.
I can't wait to buy the book
Congrats! The mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend and Elementary Principal in me is jumping for joy and scared to death at the same time. Life changing ideas/events always do that to me!!
All in,
Niesa
Susanne Leckne, Stockholm
I am re-reading GIFTS and ITIWJM for class right now. I had to buy new copies of both because they are like journals. Everything I highlighted and all of the notes I wrote in the margins relfect where I was then and where I am now. They are the kind of books that I can read over and over again and get something new out of each time. I'm sure DARING GREATLY will be the same way! And what an amazing title!
Rock on!
Physical workouts with weights that create muscle failure, challenge the organism to be stronger, more skilled. Each time I can lift more weight, do one more rep. Muscle failure and the insights of this book will contribute to all the whiles that are worth the efforts.
I am so happy I saw your post today! First, congratulations on completing a new book! It sounds wonderful!
Second, the premise of your book and Roosevelt's quote struck such a chord with me as I have been struggling to keep my son's spirits up during baseball season. Alexander (7) is one those kids who has a very hard time coping with imperfections, mistakes, or accidents, and is his own worst critic. He also tries harder and pushes harder than most kids his age....especially on the ball field. Baseball is his passion and his poison. He has fallen to his knees more than once after missing a ball in what is most likely feelings of "shame". He internalizes each mistake no matter how much we tell him to just have fun.
Sooooo, I tell you all of this because tonight I used Roosevelt's quote and your wonderful words to teach him about DARING to leap, DARING to run, DARING to fall down, and DARING to be seen. That is greatness....not perfection, as you and Roosevelt are teaching us. Tonight's play-off game got rained out, but I know my little thinker's wheels are spinning...and that this will not be the last time we talk about this....Because we all know - life is going to get much tougher than PeeWee baseball :)
Thank you Brene. These are just the words and the vehicle I needed to try to help my son at this point in his life.
Monica
I truly believe that your research on vulnerability, shame, fear, whole hearted living is very important for our time. There is so much internal and external pressure on everyone to live and look a perfect way, have the right amount of money in the bank, live in the right size house with the right size car and have a perfect family at the perfect time. But all this creates is stress, jealousy, envy, hate, discrimination, unstable and unhealthy thinking patterns and behaviours.
I support your work and message and I admire all of us who are trying our best to couragously live from our hearts and show up everyday as our authentic selves that are all perfect in their imperfect way.
Can´t wait for the book to come out. Well done for taking the time, effort and courage to write another book, most people only dream about such things. I am trying to enocurage myself to keep writing and get published one day too.
You are an inspiration!!! A million thank yous xxx
Ps. I love your Texas talk....coolest accent ever!!! I wish I had the swag to pull off Y´all jejeje...It doesn´t quite work for us Europeans.
I recently completed "I Thought It Was Just Me," and I'm almost done with "The Gifts of Imperfection." These books have changed my life and the way that I relate to myself and how I treat myself on a daily basis. I can't thank you enough!!!
All the best to you on your newest journey.
With deep gratitude and appreciation...
~Amy
Thank you thank you thank you!
And one suggestion, I wish you had a button that would go straight to your blog. Is there one I don't know about?