oh joy! a gratitude giveaway

My schedule has been insane. In fact, for the first time in my life, I was walking through the airport tonight and I couldn't remember where I was. It was a desperate, anxious feeling for a minute. Finally, I saw an ad in the terminal that said something about Minneapolis.

It's been so busy because all of the September events were cancelled due to Hurricane Ike and rescheduled on top of my busiest months - October and November. Normally, I would be melting down about now, but something very powerful happened last week. I was messing with my blog and I re-read this quote from last week's post:

It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

--Brother David Steindl-Rast

Yes, I've got too much on my plate right now with the rescheduled Ike events. Yes, I'm tired of traveling. Yes, I could use some downtime.

But, let me tell you . . . I feel so incredibly grateful right now.

I get to do work that I love, work that I'm passionate about, and work that I believe can make the world a better place.

If you combine my conference keynotes and my lectures and my workshops, I've probably been in front of 2,000 people in the last few weeks. 2,000 amazing, engaged, curious, insightful people. People who challenge me and teach me; people who help me understand myself and my work better by asking me questions and sending me emails. People who write to say "thanks" and people who write to say, "what does this mean?"

I'm so grateful to all of these people and to all of you who do the exact same thing on this blog.

My work is demanding and sometimes even exhausting, but it fills me with gratitude and brings incredible amounts of joyfulness into my life. I know how lucky I am to get to do what I love and to have a partner who believes in my work and believes in me.

So, to show my appreciation, I've got a give-away for you! My soul sister Andrea has a new pendant out that is perfect for the occasion. All you have to do to win one of these beautiful necklaces is leave a comment about what makes you grateful and brings joy into your life.

The giveaway closes on Thursday at 7pm!

And, seriously, if you visit the blog or you are a parent in San Antonio or you were a participant in the Connections training or at Shell or at the Medical Center, or if you were a conference attendee in Iowa or Utah - or if you live here in Minneapolis and we're going to spend the day together tomorrow - - thank you!

Update on 11.13.2008 by Brené Brown

Ellen randomly picked a number based on the number of comments and the winner is . . . Jenn Hain! Congrats.

Jenn wrote: I am grateful that I have a job where I get to help people on a daily basis in a company that rewards me in a multitude of ways. I am grateful that I have rich relationships with my family and friends. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful that I woke up this morning and get to live this day to the fullest. The things that bring me joy: being outside, running, connecting with friends, reading, watching movies, eating healthy food, laughing, taking photos, writing on my blog, seeing the sunrise and sunset, travel, there's just too much to even write in this small space. God is good.

And, because this person started it all . . . a second necklace goes to DeeDee Parker Wright. My gift to the friend who orignially sent the gratitude quote that has meant so much to so many of us, then posted this:

How can I say this...I am unbelievably grateful for the human drive for connection. It's weirdly circular so come with me here: For the past few weeks, I have been in that danger zone of frightening isolation where I think only I can or must do things or that maybe I don't actually need a partner in parenting because he takes too much energy and time from the really meaningful but challenging work I have chosen. So I listen to books as an escape so that my car time is sacred or at least a treat and send you an email about the book. You dig my quote at the bottom of my email and share it on your blog not once, but TWICE, (which has some big God laughs on it because I just can't get the message the first time) so that I finally figure out that I need the reminder about gratitude leading to joy more than anyone! Nice...I suppose I can appreciate the irony of being so bossy that it laps me and bites me in the ass!

So my gratitude tonight is all about that need to connect that got me this far and will hopefully help me dig up some courage (the other thing I'm wildly grateful for) to do the hard connecting work with myself and my family. Thank you for creating a space for folks to connect and language and encouragement that leads to so much discovery, within our own lives and with each other. Reading what everyone else is grateful for is like a tonic that takes the sting of "not enough" right out of me! Of course I have enough...far more than I can ever fully appreciate, I imagine. Thanks to all who've shared!

Thank you for all of your comments! I'm actually kinda surprised that all of this love and gratitude energy didn't blow up the blogosphere.

Jenn and DeeDee - please email me with your addresses.

believing is seeing

In high school, I was voted least likely to fly across the country and spend 3 days with 12 artists and writers whom I've never met.  

When this Oregon LoveBomb/retreat/vacation/soul-camp was first mentioned, I thought, “Wow. I can’t believe it. Sounds amazing. I’ll be there!” As my departure day drew near, my anxiety increased. By the beginning of August I was trying on different excuses and apologies for having to cancel.

First of all, almost all of these women have spent time together (real, in person time). Many of them are good friends. I didn’t know anyone. Second, these are photographers and artists and heart n’ soul writers. Those people scare me a little. Third, I’d be sharing beds, bathrooms, and possibly secrets with people. I don’t like sharing beds. It might surprise you, but I’m not as low-maintenance and laid back as you might imagine. I need sleep and healthy food. I'm a little lactose intolerant and I don't drink. I cuss too much and clutter makes me crazy. 

I eventually pushed through the exhaustion, fear, and anxiety, and landed in Oregon on Sunday morning. It was so strange to physically see and feel people from the blog world. Everyone looked exactly the same and totally different. On several occasions I had to stop myself from saying, "You look just like someone I know from the Internet."

My prayer before I left was, “Please let me be open-minded and open-hearted during this experience.”  I think I was. I listened and shared. There were moments when being open-minded/hearted was easy and moments when I really struggled against the desire to be guarded and closed.

As you can imagine, there were lots of cameras and lots of laptops. Every time you turned around someone was taking your picture or uploading your picture or showing you your picture. For some reason, even with all of the picture taking, I couldn’t put on a stitch of make-up or even brush my hair. I just washed my face and pulled my hair back with a headband. I wanted to be a bit more glamorous for the paparazzi, but it was like my hands were made out of lead. I’d stand in front of the mirror with a brush or some make-up and I just couldn’t do it.

Karen, who has an absolute gift for capturing the real essence of people, took two portrait pictures of me during the course of the weekend. When she showed them to me, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. They made me incredibly uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure why, but I couldn’t really even look at them.

On Tuesday, Andrea led us through a coaching exercise about core values. Not corporate-mission-statement type values, but real “live or die” values. I was partnered with the irrepressible Jen Lee.

Normally, I would be a little tentative about an exercise like this. I've done this kind of work for so long, I rarely stumble upon any groundbreaking information. This time was different. There is something so incredibly generous and honest about Andrea. I trusted her completely. After an hour of writing and talking and honing, I came up with my list of five values. As others spoke of their experiences and what they learned, I felt a little disappointed about my list. There wasn’t anything really new.

I left Oregon knowing that I had made new friends. I knew I had learned and shared. I also knew that I had stayed true to my open-heart/mind commitment.

I did NOT know what this would mean today. 

I never cried in Oregon. I cried today.

I pulled up the two pictures that Karen shot and I pulled out my list from Andrea’s exercise.

In one heartbeat it came to me.

My list of five broad values collapsed into two piercing mandates and Karen's pictures told the story. I must live authentically and soulfully. These are my values and these are what Karen captured in my photos.

Live authentically.

Live soulfully.

I went to Oregon vowing to be open-hearted and open-minded, but something much bigger happened.

I let myself be seen.

creativity and rest

I'd say something like, "I'm taking a few days off to relax" or "I'm on short vacation" but that doesn't quite do it justice. Maybe this picture is worth a thousand words (photo taken by fabulous Karen of Chookooloonks).