cheetahs, leopards, and iowans . . . oh my!

If you ask Ellen about her favorite Disney moment, she'll tell you, "The Cheetah Girls were on our flight from Houston to Orlando and they signed my homework notebook." If you look suspicious, she'll whip this out:

We saw them waiting to board in Houston and Ellen kept saying, "I know it's them. I just know it." During the flight she was so distracted thinking about it that she couldn't concentrate on her pile of make-up homework. Finally, at baggage claim in Orlando, she walked up and asked them for an autograph. They were very sweet.

If you ask me to describe my favorite moment yesterday, I'd say, "Opening my Nordstrom box." If you know me or even if you've just seen me speak, you know I'm a clog-wearer. The black Dansko Patent Leather Clog are my favs. Well, lo and behold! The newest Danskos on the market: The patent leather leopard print! I know some people might look and think, "OMG! Are they ugly on purpose???" But not me. I love them so much I'm wearing them with my PJs.

Last, but certainly not least . . . a big shout out to the folks in Iowa! I had such a great time. We got in from Disney on Sunday around 2pm. I had to fly out Sunday night to Des Moines to do a keynote and a workshop at conference for women who work in corrections. I thought I was going to die of exhaustion, but when I got there I was so inspired by these women and the amazing work they're doing with the most vulnerable populations you can imagine. We talked a lot about shame, resilience, and compassion, but we also laughed - A LOT!

I learned to avoid saying "Breakout" session and to stay clear of the words "hostage" (as in emotionally hostage). Riot is not the best word for laughter either.

They learned that you can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the girl. In the course of a 4-hour breakout workshop session, I said:

"Around the bend."

"Fish or cut bait."

"You can't swing a cat without hitting an example of this."

And, my most stellar moment . . . "Like a duck on a june bug."

I'm not sure what it is, but the older I get, the more I turn into my grandma. All I can do is shake my head, sigh and, in her immortal words, mumble "Well . . . shit fire and save matches."

I heart cheese!

I'm starting to realize that part of soul-searching, truth-telling and practicing ordinary courage is stopping to feel and acknowledge joy. One of the hardest lessons from the past year is learning that leaning into pain and discomfort just to get comfortable with suffering is a really dangerous idea. Suffering and self-righteous "hard work" can become addictive and debilitating.

I think we lean into the discomfort of self-work so that we can eventually fall all the way through to happiness and joy. I have found so much support and grace sharing my struggles on this blog that it only seems fair to also share the joyful moments too.  And I'm happy (really) to tell you that I have lots of good news to report. Some serious, some fun, some product and fashion-focused (which is serious too).

First, I hope everyone had a good Mother's Day yesterday. I put my PJs on at 1pm and stayed in them until this morning. It was great! Speaking of PJ's...Steve handed me a wrapped shirt box for my mother's day present and I broke into nervous laughter. He said, "I know. I went out on a limb."  I peeled the paper off of the box, opened it up and found delicate tissue sealed closed with a sticker. The sticker was from a local lingerie store. My first thought was, "Oh no he diddent!" Surely, he didn't buy me lingerie for Mother's Day! I pulled the tissue open and Viola! The man is a rock star!!! Aren't these the best! He said, "I know you like cute PJs." Is there anything better than good PJs, handmade cards and couch time?

 

In other fashion news, I've sworn off the mall for fun, funky jewelry and I'm throwing my support to the awesome artisans from the blogosphere. I ordered this bracelet from Carissa over at The Brown-Eyed Fox. I've worn it twice and both times people have stopped to ask me about it. Love it! 

I'm also wearing my new Allison Strine sassy pendant. I bought the one with a woman wearing cowboy boots on the front and reads, "She Doesn't Pretend to be Normal" on the back. It's sooooo me, n'est pas?  

Now, from what I'm wearing to where I'm going (nice segue, huh?):

In big career news . . . I was just named the Behavioral Health Scholar-in-Residence at the Council on Alcohol Houston.  What is behavioral health? So glad you asked. Behavioral health is the intersection between mental-health and addiction. Most people respond by saying, "Oh, like so many of the homeless who struggle with mental illness and addiction?"  Yes. It's like that, but it's also more subtle and more common. In fact, when I talk about behavioral health in my workshops and lectures, I try to explain that all of us have different ways of numbing painful feelings like shame, anxiety, fear, disappointment, anger, vulnerability, and grief.

Sometimes we numb with substances like alcohol, drugs or food, and sometimes we numb in less obvious but equally destructive ways (like staying REALLY busy, gossiping, blogging, having affairs, etc.). It's not a question of "if" we numb, but how. This is a critical question because my research shows that when we numb pain and discomfort (and teach our children to do the same), we automatically dull our experiences of joy and compassion. Here is a slide from my parenting workshop. To varying degrees, I think we can all find ourselves on the lists:

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In related behavioral health news, I received an invitation from the Hazelden Women Healing Conference to join them as a speaker for their 2009 national tour. Check out the dates and location on my website. If you're in these areas and you're interested in attending a powerful, healing day, join us!

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Shame heal thySELF! There's a short article on my work in the May edition of SELF Magazine! How fun is that? Check it out on page 208! Yes, it's called "Tame your Shame" and there's a picture of a beautiful model looking cute and embarrassed rather than mortified and brimming with self-loathing, but she's the most honest reflection of how I look when I'm in shame. hee-hee-hee. 

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I also stumbled across an article on my work written by Jean Chatzky. We did an interview together on Oprah and Friends radio. It's a great article on money, debt and shame. And, it too has a rhyming title (The Shame Game). Who says that shame isn't a sweet, sing-songy emotion?  

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Speaking of cheese, anyone care for some shame con queso? Shout out to my friend Laura who has the best shame post EVER on her Blog con Queso. I'm totally down with the "let's kick shame's ass" approach to mental health. I'm even into the spitting (you'll need to read the comments for this one).

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And last, but not least . . . our friends at sk*rt have officially changed their name to kirtsy! So great. I'm sending tonsof love and respect to these fierce women. They've handled the name change with such courage and grace. Here's to the highroad. Here's to kirtsy!

Thanks for letting me share!  Questions, comments and queso are always welcome!

random updates & happy things

Random updates:

1. Remember the "Bird Killed with Axe as Ostrich Watches" post? (If you're a new visitor, I think it's worth reading and watching the videos). After reading all of the thought-provoking comments, I decided to pull my head completely out of the sand and email Unilever. They actually emailed back and I just updated the post with their response and my thoughts on burying the bird.

2. Lent officially ended today and I can tell you that giving up my fear of photography for 40 days changed my life. I'm not sure if my photography has improved, but I've fallen in love with my camera. The whole world looks different. There's beauty everywhere I look. I'm still not experienced enough to capture it the way I see it, but I see it so much more clearly now. It's truly been a spiritual experience.

3. Also, I stuck to my Lent card commitment and I think I'm almost back in the habit (which was the point). I've had so much fun buying and sending cards. Right now, I'm loving the cards from Curly Girl Design (love her ultra-cool website too)! In May, Kelly Rae Roberts will also start offering cards based on her incredible art - can't wait!

4. Speaking of little notes . . . I've been leaving my hope notes all over town, but I just can't get any good pictures. I'm such a first-born-rule-follwer that I get nervous leaving the notes and by the time I pull out my camera, my palms are sweating. I've dropped my little point and shoot camera twice. I know that anonymously spreading hope is a worthy cause, but I'm not very good at undercover work. I'm the kid who almost had a nervous breakdown trying to make it back to base during hide-and-go-seek.

5. Last, and probably least due to frustration, the email notification for my blog isn't working. I know a lot of you aren't RSS feed people and I've received emails asking for a new email notification option. I'm working on it!

 

Happy Things:

1. Last weekend, my mom, Ellen and I went to a gourd painting class at Casa Ramírez - one of the best stores in Houston. The class was taught by nationally renown folk artist, Laura López Cano. It was a powerful experience for me. I've never painted anything in my life and I found it to be both terrifying and liberating. Laura and I had a wonderful conversation about courage and creativity (more to come on that topic).

2. My blog made the Squarespace Example page! I'm full of hee-hee-hee's and ya-hoos! I love Squarespace and highly recommend it if you're thinking about starting a blog. (btw - I still think "blockheads" is the perfect name for Squarespace junkies - their logo is a little green square). 

3. I was able to pull myself out of crazy-mother-vacation mode pretty quick and, after issuing several rounds of apologies, our trip to "Port A" was wonderful. We've been spending spring breaks and summers in Port Aransas for 20 years. We stop at the same little store on HWY59 to get kolaches and jerky. We eat at the same restaurants, fish and feed the seagulls from the same pier, and play on the same stretch of beach. New places are fun, but there is something special about tradition.

Yes, my sisters and I have the same feet.

Have a great Monday! If you have any random thoughts on the random updates or happy things to share, I'd love to hear from you!